Today was Melanie's funeral. Her brother, during his eulogy, lamented the fact that the gathering was so small for someone so young. It's true...for the death of a 35 year old woman, it should have been standing room only. He begged that we all do better. That the best way to honor her memory is to be better to someone else than we were to her, and to each other.
For one day, all was forgiven. For one day, people who haven't spoken in years hugged and wept together. That won't last.
We gathered at the grave of our father/grandfather, and laid another one of ours to rest. While my mother gossiped incessantly in the car, I bitterly sniped "We've buried so many fucking people. You'd think we'd learn to appreciate each other more."
My family's legacy is one of tragedy. It's also one of anger and spite; regret and deceit. Though I was moderately impressed with the ability of some to throw aside grudges, I can't believe that it will last.
I haven't written in the past few days because I'm having a little trouble right now finding too many funny things. We have another hurdle to jump on Tuesday; one of which I am so fucking scared that I haven't even been able to write about it. Hopefully, it won't end too badly and we'll be able to look forward to Christmas without the weight of this albatross for the first time in 7 months.
Friday I Christmas shop, so barring death or dismemberment, I should be able to scrape a few moderately funny stories. And by "funny," I of course mean "fucking irritating and amusing to no one but myself."
You have my sympathies. I hope things get easier for you soon. Courage!
Posted by: Sparkling Red | December 16, 2007 at 07:53 PM