[edited to note: to the fucking sicko from Brazil who got here by googling "pictures of little girls sucking" sorry if you were disappointed, kill yourself.]
Dude. I swear to God I never wanted this blog to be the one that's all "oMg like Death and stuff and anger." You know the one. And damnit, I came really close yesterday! Sure, someone actually died and stuff, but, really now. Entries like that are one step away from aaaannnggsty poems, and then there's no where to go but here:
To, finally, here:
So, anyway. Yeah, my cousin died. And I'm really fucking pissed off that it took something like that to make me realize that, hey! I'm sort of an asshole! Maybe I should do something about that.
Ahem. Moving on.
I tried to think of funny stuff to write about to get the aaannngssst off the top of this page, but I'm really coming up blank. Mostly because I'm not really that funny. Further evidenced by the fact that I entertained myself for like twenty minutes last night by poking my poor, long-suffering boyfriend, and saying "EAT POOPY" over and over again. Heee. It makes me giggle a little now just thinking about it.
Speaking of the poor, long-suffering boyfriend, alas, he is suffering. The man is suddenly vying for sainthood in light of the death and suffering and, you guessed it, aaaannngggst. Sunday he was all sweet and snoogly, and let me buy cheesesteaks and mozzarella sticks because he knows that grease is the only way to kill the pain.
Monday night he ran the errands that my lazy ass had neglected, including picking up BIRTH CONTROL (oh, how emasculating. or, maybe! it's really NOT emasculating, because, dude! he's banging a girl! and he's doing it so often that she has to TRY TO NOT GET PREGNANT! this is how i imagine some of his geeky ass friends talk sometimes. it makes me laugh inside my brain.) and mustard. But he had to make an extra trip for the mustard because CVS only had yellow mustard, and yellow mustard is not acceptable in my home. And! He brought me home ice cream, STEVE COLBERT ICE CREAM and I'm pretty sure I've reached the pinnacle of my life, right here, thanks, I'm done. Good-bye.
And it seems like that should be my cue to end this entry, which was supposed to be "funny" and ended up being "stupid." It amazes me how I can dribble for like, hundreds of words and not come up with a singularly funny sentence or image that I did not steal from here. There should be an award for useless blithering, I would own that shit.
"grease is the only way to kill the pain"
That's funny! It's funny because it's true.
Posted by: Sparkling Red | December 11, 2007 at 07:08 PM