Silly Little Girl

A million apologies, and maybe some kisses

I have neglected this blog terribly. I know it, you know it, your brother knows it. What's worse is that I have zero excuse for it other than general laziness. I'd love to make a triumphant return chanting refrains of "New baby!" or "New House!" or "New Million Dollars!" or some other such reason for why I've been absent, but the truthful refrains would sound more like "Lazy! Headache! Overpowering desire to sleep my life away while the rest of you crazies go on with your wakefulness and your desire to live!"

I jest, of course. I, too, have a desire to live! Just not...awake. You know. Maybe it's anemia, maybe it's thyroid, maybe it's I'm just too damn lazy for my own damn good, but I'm tired all the time. I go to work, I go to class, and I...you know, that's about all I go to. Occasionally I like, feed my family and stuff, and sometimes I even talk to them, but besides that, my life is about the almighty pillow.

I'm going to go ahead and pretend that this is because my job requires me to think and keep shit straight in my head for the first time in years. I'd become so comfortable in my old job that everything had become mindless, and Kindercare was mindless from the start, so I think my brain may have atrophied. Now that it's suddenly required to, like, do stuff occasionally, it tires out really quickly. That's my brain for you, lazy and stupid.

Pile on top of all that (woe!) a mound of stress about any random thing a human could stress about at any given time, and you have a big fat lump of pooped over here. I even gave up on reading the blogs I love, mainly because I used to do that at work and now I actually have to work at work (what a concept) but also because my concentration = nil.

But now the guilt at leaving you lovely, sexy people is just too much to bear (you were so sad, weren't you?) has set in, and I decided to drop in and treat you to a hot mess of fractured sentences and parenthetical thought processes, and aren't you just so damn lucky?

So how is everyone out there in the innernet? Did you all miss me? Does anyone have a new baby I could squish, cuz I could sure use some squishiness right about now. My kid's too damn big for his britches and doesn't like to cuddle me anymore, and my boyfriend is too wrapped up in the Flyers and Sixers playoffs to do anything more than fart beer stink in my general direction as a show of love.

Right now I'm stuck at work till all hours making phone calls, but pretending that I'm lawyer and this is my office since I'm all alone. I like to bark orders at my imaginary secretary like "FIX MY COMPUTER! TELL ME HOW TO SAVE THIS DOCUMENT! STOP SQUEAKING YOUR CHAIR LIKE THAT!" like my boss does.

Speaking of secretaries, yesterday was apparently Administrative Professional's Day. I did not know this until the afternoon, and totally thought I got flowers because I just, you know, rock. And today my boss brought me a book on poker by Phil Hellmuth, which shows some stellar listening skills on his part, because we only talked about that for like 1 minute about three weeks ago. I was duly impressed. (Yes, now that I'm a pretend lawyer, I say 'duly' a lot. Be duly impressed or I will duly kick your ass.)

And with that well-intentioned yet slightly manic threat, I will bring this bullshit I'm going to pretend is a worthwhile post to a close. I am through coming up with entertaining words and shit for you ingrates! (Can you tell I'm overcaffeinated?)

I hope every is doing well and isn't wishing that they're sleeping while reading this post, like I am.

Love,
Poopstick McSmells

Two weeks is everything

Writing on this blog has been on my to-do list every single day, I swear it. It seems though, that by the time I get home and the day is over, I can't even summon the energy to play my beloved video games, let alone compose something vaguely coherent for you beautiful, sexy people.

The last two weeks have been crazy hectic. It began with my first day at the daycare. Let me tell you that though I hid behind smiles and refrains of "It'll get better," I hated it off the bat. Don't get me wrong, I loved the kids, but the other teachers and the atmosphere there made me want to hang myself from the jungle gym. I was kicking my lack of foresight for not seeing beforehand that I wasn't cut out for such a job.

My first week, however, I received a phone call from a woman to whose law firm I had applied weeks before the daycare opportunity ever rose. She wanted to interview me. It seemed when I was most distraught about my bad choice, fate and the Gods reared their heads to remind me that everything happens for a reason. My hours at the center we'll call Shmindershmare gave me the opportunity to interview for the job. With that, the idea that I needed to leave the daycare became reality, and I started actively looking. I applied for another job at a law firm that day.

The interview for the first firm went well, although it was only part time. The interview for the second firm went better, and I realized almost immediately that this was going to be the place for me. Two days later I had my second interviewed, and they made an offer. I accepted it on the spot. I told Shmindershmare the next day that I was done, and I started this job two days later.

Now I'm back in an office, where I realize I prefer to be. I have the freedom to keep in touch with my friends most of the day, write this blog, and my mind is finally at peace enough to do so. I love the work here so far. It's quiet and small, the two other people here are quirky, friendly people, and I fit in well. I've been saying it over and over again, and I'll say it yet again: Short of graduating law school and becoming a lawyer myself, this is my dream job. I feel that I am tempting the fates with my happiness, but I'm trying to rid myself of that negative mentality.

Life is hard and stressful, but in a way that I can manage. My relationship with Nik it seems gets better every day, my mental health is setting new records for stability, and my son is---well, he's another story for another day. I don't want to overwhelm you all when I just made my triumphant return. I'll return with that one tomorrow.

In the meantime, know that I am well and the family is well, and I hope the same for you and yours. How's everyone been?