Dude, you guys LOVE me, don't you? Because I am the QUEEN of all things blog-related, and I update with STARTLING frequency, and I fill you in on every damn detail of my fabulous life AS IT HAPPENS!
Or. You know, I give you some half assed post about how I'm not carrying a dead baby, and then disappear for nine years. Either, or. Whatever, gimme some Cheerios.
ANYWAY. I am extremely (or vaguely, again, semantics) sorry for the dry spell, and hope to make it go away and shower you all with lovely, ranting posts about how the WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST ME AND GOD WHY AREN'T PARKING SPACES PORTABLE.
Ahem. I am, uh, getting ahead of myself. Let me give you the breakdown of the last few weeks:
1. Discovered that baby is not dead. Baby is blob, and a rather lima bean-esque cute blob at that, if, you know, you're into lima beans like that.
2. Realized, WHOA DUDE, we are totally having a baby and isn't that fantastic and picked out names. That I will not divulge, because I seriously don't need to hear AGAIN that ZOMG THAT NAME SUCKS YOUR KID IS GOING TO GET PELTED WITH POOP ON THE PLAYGROUND.
3. Decided that dude, wouldn't it be totally awesome if we got married? In true shotgun wedding style in the backyard of your uncle's house which is totally in the middle of NOWHERE? YEAH THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
4. Decide to get married the first week of September. OF THIS YEAR.
5. Realize that September is LESS THAN THREE MONTHS AWAY HOLY CHRIST.
6. Pick up a fierce and passionate love for CAPS LOCK.
7. Realize that weddings are expensive, yo. Even backwoods shotgun weddings.
8. Wonder, vaguely, where 130 people are going to PARK at this wedding, before thinking, "whatever, time for cheerios."
9. Write blog, realize it sucks and consider issuing blanket apologize for overwhelming SUCK in the months leading up to the wedding, because I seem to be vaguely preoccupied with the notion that HOLY SHIT I AM GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING A BABY.
(Disclaimer: In truth, 3/4 of why I stopped blogging is because I was preparing to remove this website and everything related to it, because it was somewhere decided that it makes for good afternoon tea gossip. But, I eventually decided that being discussed among people is not the worst thing in the world, and maybe someday I'll end up on perezhilton.com and be totally Z-list famous, ya'll.)
