A random series of updates, or, How the Blogosphere will render my child nameless

I'm not even going to offer up an excuse why I can't form transitional sentences and am falling back to the blog-slackers stand-by of listed updates. I don't care. It's 7:30 on Black Friday, I have painkillers, my child is nameless, and that's really all that matters.

1. My teeth. Can we talk about my teeth some more? Listen, I know we discussed it, but this is getting out of fucking hand. You'll remember the awfulness that was the extraction, yeah? And if your reading comprehension and memory skills are good, you'll remember my wishful desire that I would need no further dental intervention in the next two months, when painkillers are sparse? You do? Good. Stomp on that wish for me. Hope is a bitch.

Turns out, that goddamn tooth never needed to come out. You know what was causing me pain? You know what DID need to come out? My motherfucking wisdom teeth. All fucking four of them. Isn't that pleasant? And no, no I really CAN'T deal with it until the end of my pregnancy, unless they changed the rules and it's totally ok to take massive quantities of Vicodin washed down with Margaritas until then. So out they come, next Thursday. Without general anesthesia. Without any kind of anesthesia, thank you, save for Novacaine.

Now, in talking to EVERY SINGLE PERSON I COULD THINK TO ASK, pretty much everyone else gets put to sleep to have their wisdom teeth out. I...have to imagine there is a reason for this. I have to imagine there is a reason that they do not want you awake during the type of oral surgery where they have to CRACK YOUR JAW to get the teeth out. And I imagine that being awake during such a surgery is going to fucking BLOW.

But...you know. Far be it for me to whine. Moving on.

2. My son is nameless. He truly is Baby X now. Our front-runner name, the name we'd agreed on MONTHS AGO, somehow simultaneously became unacceptable to both my husband and I at the same time. For the record, the name was Perrin. Perrin is our favorite character from his favorite book series. But that's besides the point.

This wouldn't be a huge issue if Nik would even just CONSIDER the only other name I find to be palatable. Which would be Nikolas. But noooo. Apparently they don't name kids after parents or relatives in that family. Some crap about having one's own identity. Blah. Whatever.

So I've been up since 5 this morning scouring baby name websites making neat little bulleted lists of acceptable names. Also not helping the cause - two names I really love happen to be the names of the children of two of my favorite bloggers, and that has rendered them useless in my opinion. I CANNOT STEAL FROM ANOTHER BLOGGER. IT BREAKS SOME UNWRITTEN BLOG RULE, I'M PRETTY SURE.

3. I got fired. While, in this economy, this sounds like it should be a sad thing, I'm really not all that broken up about it. Next week probably would have been my last anyway, and I'm just vaguely irritated that the element of surprise was taken out of the whole thing, cuz I had no intention of telling my boss that I was leaving. He's been very angry about my pregnancy for the last few months, and when I cut my hours to make kindergarten possible for my son, he basically did everything in his power to get me to quit. When that didn't work, he presented me with a nice little speech about how "our tenure had ended....somewhere along the way [my] pregnancy and son became more important than my job...didn't live up to [his] expectations." I did gain some small satisfaction from the way his face crumbled and twisted in fury when I just smiled and waved good bye. I think he expected me to cry or something.

4. I am officially nesting. God help my neighbors, who have to hear me hammering and vacuuming at 4:30 in the morning lately. My closets are officially on notice.

And that is all, dear readers. My thanksgiving was fabulous, and I hope yours was, too. We have a lot to be grateful for this year, even more so considering the climate of the universe, and we're happy campers for now.

Comments

[Kristin]

Good luck on Thursday. I hope it goes smoothly. The best thing to do is keep your mind on other things. Can you bring an audiobook or something? Practice saying (in your head of course) the alphabet backwards really fast. Think of baby names from a to z. Anything to keep from thinking about it and I'm sure it'll help a bit.

[theresa]

1. I wasn't knocked out for both extractions I underwent. Drugs numbing? Yes. Asleep and unaware? Nope.
2. Cool boy's names: Connor, Heathcliff, Jack, Seamus, Francis, um, Trig ...

[Hope]

I had my wisdom teeth out with just novocaine. It sucked a little, but it wasn't the worst thing I've ever gone through. Ok, I admit it, it sucked, but I also had a total quack for a dentist. He sewed me up with cotton thread. Cotton tends to shrink in warm, moist environs... like, I dunno, YOUR MOUTH. So, stay away from cotton thread and you should be fine!