And so starts another week of unemployment. (My mother and friends keep reminding me that it's MATERNITY LEAVE, not unemployment, but I figure if you've got no job to go back to, it's one and the same, yeah?) I had sort of hoped I would have gotten into the swing of things by now, perfectly balancing doing more fun things with my kid, keeping up my house better, but also finding something that's wholly personally fulfilling, but so far, I've only got two of the three down.
Don't get me wrong, I'm having a pretty sweet time playing Clone Wars and whatever the hell he calls that weird-ass game with the crayons and the beads with Donovan, and always coming home to a clean, prettily decorated house gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, but I really kind of thought I'd have developed a hobby by now. Turns out, work was always my hobby, and apparently, I was pretty ok with that.
I like to be needed. But I also like to be challenged. Sure, my house needs me to clean it, and I'm pretty sure my husband and son would wear their pajamas 24/7 because they're not sure where their clothes are kept, or what in the world a "washing machine" is, but this isn't exactly rocket science, people. I'm pretty sure there are trained monkeys that could run a household with as much skill. I'm in search of a hobby that requires me to really think for a couple hours a day, but it also has to be something that I can walk away from without tearing my hair out in frustration or impatience to get back to it - cuz something tells me in about a month or so, there's not going to be a whole lot of time left for "personal fulfillment" for a while. Infants, man, they really kind of screw up your enrichment schedule.
At any rate, I'm still trying to figure out this stay-at-home-mom gig, and that apparently leaves a WHOLE lot of time leftover for blog reading. Which brings me to my next point.
(Transitional sentences, I own them.)
I have a friend who does not know about the existence of this site, but reads other blogs just as avidly as I do. About a week ago, I happened across a post that amused me on this site and passed it on to her. As a result, we both combed through the most popular posts and through a good chunk of the archives. I'm not going to bother linking all the specific posts that ignited our "discussion", because A: I'm lazy, and B: most of her more incendiary opinions are easily found through the most popular link. It's a pretty easy site to navigate - you'll figure it out if you care to do so.
Here's the thing - I know a few of you have probably heard of this woman, and are going to be pissed that I found anything she had to say funny. A good chunk of you came here from Amalah, who has come under fire from Violent Acres a couple times, and you're probably fans of Dooce, too, who has REALLY been trashed by her. Sorry to say this doesn't really bother me, and the reason why is also the reason why I failed to get nearly as upset as my friend about what "V" has to say about...well. Anything.
My friend could not fathom why I enjoyed, let alone agreed with V on a lot of points. Loosely paraphrased, the point was "Look at what she has to say about single parents, young, unwed mothers..doesn't that bother you? People like you work hard to not be those things, and someone like her comes and shits all over it and says 'you still fucking suck at life.' How does that not infuriate you?"
Well. That's a two or three fold question. The first answer is - A: Dude. They're opinions. And it's the internet. It's...not really a big deal. I've come under fire from so many people in my REAL life that the musings of someone who has never met me or heard of my situation can't really bother me at this point. Maybe a few years ago it would have, but by now, I'm comfortable enough with myself that it didn't even occur to me to take it personally until this particular discussion. Which leads me to B: She's not writing about me. She's not even writing about people LIKE me. Maybe some people would THINK I fall into the same pigeonhole as the single or young parents she discusses, but I know better. What she's writing about, in my opinion, are sweeping generalizations. And not that it matters, but on the whole, I AGREE with the sweeping generalizations about the single parent family dynamic, and about young, unwed mothers. Unless you're willing to change pretty much EVERYTHING about yourself and work your ass off to behave like a grown up, having kids before you're ready, or doing it on your own ends up being a pretty fucked up situation. But whatever, that's besides the point.
I could go ahead and list all the things that I think makes me different from the people she's writing about, but I'm not gonna bother, because all that matters is that I know it. And knowing that I'm not making the same mistakes that single parents like my mom made before me is enough to protect my fragile little ego from getting hurt by the things someone else writes on the internet, or says in real life, for that matter.
So why am I even bothering to bring it up? Um..to prove a point to myself, actually. After the argument with my friend, who got like..viscerally angry at my non-reaction to the material, I considered making it a blog post. In almost the same thought, I shot it down, thinking "I can't link that site on my blog. People would get mad cuz she makes fun of the blogs that a lot of my readers like." Then, I got annoyed with myself cuz dude, who cares? I like to think that if you're comfortable with the choices you've made, and you know that they were the right ones or the best ones, you really don't give a shit if someone, on the internet or in real life, makes fun of you. So my point is that, even though in a round-a-bout and non-personal way, Violent Acres shit all over the choices I've made, I'm secure enough with them to have found it pretty fucking funny, and I kind of think you should, too.
You are collaborating with some Huge name. This stuff is very impressive.
Posted by: Jordan Hydro | July 26, 2010 at 12:40 AM